By India Gustin
No matter how you and your family usually celebrate birthdays, experiencing one – or even a couple – of birthdays during lockdown isn’t great. As the one-year anniversary of Covid-19 has just rolled around, people are now going into their second birthday under Covid restrictions.
Of course, the internet always saves the day and there are dozens of articles and posts on ideas and creative ways to pass a meaningful birthday during the pandemic. From birthday car parades to virtual dinner parties, people are finding new ways to enjoy this milestone under restrictions.
For some, a birthday is just like any other day, maybe simply inviting a couple friends over to share a piece of cake. For others, birthdays mean big and beautiful parties with hundreds of people and spoiling yourself with food and drinks.
Why go through all the trouble?
These types of events are seen as rituals. It’s not just about one person, but about many people coming together to enjoy each other’s company. People want to be with friends and family and catch up on all that they’ve missed.
“I always enjoyed celebrating my birthday with a lot of people simply so I can share my day with them,” said Monica Salutari, a sports therapist based in Italy who is celebrating the big 5-0 this year.
“I mean in the past, I worked hard to cook and prepare everything for my party so I would always end up being the most tired at the end of it all. That’s why for me a birthday isn’t so much being at the centre of it all but more passing it with friends and family.”
Turning any age for that matter, can certainly seem scary for some. “Turning 20 has definitely made me reflect more because I am no longer a ‘teen’,” said Filippo Antiga, an engineering student from Italy. “I wouldn’t say I’m old but still…it makes you reflect on life.”
Rituals mean continuity
In a study published by the Cambridge University Press entitled Ageing and Society, researchers asked to talk about their birthdays and how the events have affected them at two different points in time of their lives.
They found that all the rituals which are associated with celebrating birthdays – sharing cake, inviting friends and family over and opening presents – provides everyone with a sense of “collective continuity more than individual change”.
This could explain why people are not thrilled to be passing birthdays under lockdown – it forces us to focus more on our individual ageing rather than sharing it with people who we love.
“This year, more than any other year, I feel like inviting my friends and family over makes more sense, independently from Covid and its restrictions,” explained Salutari.
Antiga also shared view: “I don’t think a birthday is necessarily a day to force yourself to have fun but more to be happy with friends and family, even if that means just taking a walk.
“Especially now under Covid, we need to accept these small things in life and appreciate them. I think that celebrating a birthday during Covid in 2021 makes us feel more important to one another. Having that one person, instead of a whole group of people, come and keep you company on your special day can really strengthen relationships.”
Nothing for granted
Alix de Wasseige, a student from Belgium who is currently studying Management Engineering, agrees with the argument that no one should take anything for granted. “I think that ‘thanks to lockdown’, a birthday dinner or breakfast becomes more special than it was before. What I mean by that is that we have learned to appreciate the smaller gestures.”
Another study found that temporal landmarks motivate aspirational behaviour. They tend to make us reassess our lives and come up with ways to improve it, whether that be finally going to the gym or simply going to bed earlier.
Birthdays help us to put our “old self” behind us and focus on a bigger and better future. Again, with Covid restrictions in place, it doesn’t exactly motivate us to workout if gyms are closed.
Stories to share
Everyone will have passed one, or even a couple, of birthdays under lockdown. Each will have a story to share, with some being better than others. Antiga explained that he is fully aware of how lucky he was compared to some of his friends regarding the level of celebration of his birthday.
“It’s difficult to remember what I did because of how long ago it seems. Fortunately my birthday happened in a period which was much less strict in terms of restrictions here in Italy. During the summer, they let us go out a bit more and hang out with friends, obviously with a couple restrictions, but it was still much better.”
“I don’t live in the city, I live more in the countryside so I have land in which I can spend time on and be in contact with nature and animals,” Antiga said.
“This helped me a lot because I could still go out, even though still at home, which is nice because I can breathe in fresh air and take advantage of the freedom I have in the countryside.”
Whether or not you are someone who goes all out when a birthday rolls around, spending your special day in lockdown is not fun for anyone. The reasoning lies in the psychological nature in which we see rituals and temporal landmarks: we just want to celebrate it with someone. And eat cake.
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