Image by AS_Photography from Pixabay
By Stephanie Avdeienko
In daily life, we often take love for granted. We eat breakfasts made by our mothers, kiss the people we love goodbye and wish them a good day, make phone calls, run into each other and buy each other gifts for special occasions. These small gestures become part of our everyday routine, it is so ordinary that we never think about what they really mean.
But something changes at an airport.
All of a sudden, we realise the importance of these ordinary moments and start to appreciate them. Someone holds their loved one’s hand for the final seconds before security. Someone scans the crowd, searching for their mother’s eyes. Someone cries despite promising themselves they wouldn’t. And somewhere in the arrivals area, someone is holding a bouquet of flowers, checking the arrivals board every few seconds.
Airports have a way of making ordinary emotions feel extraordinary. They bring together people who are experiencing some of the most intimate moments: reunions, new beginnings and fear of the unknown.
Maybe this is why the opening scene of Love Actually (2003), filmed at London Heathrow Airport, feels so touching to many people. It captures real moments of people reuniting with their loved ones and the relief of finally seeing someone again.
Beyond these moments of happiness and relief, airports capture a lot of other stories. It captures people saying goodbye, someone leaving their family behind, or someone flying towards a life they haven’t yet built – something that is especially poignant as the Christmas season approaches.
When home becomes too far away
When my mother was young, she travelled to Sydney, Australia with her sister to study at university. It was a great opportunity to receive an education abroad and see what it’s like living independently in a different country. They had each other and perhaps that made the idea of leaving home seem not that scary.
However, my mother, Olena Tabakova, remembers that the reality of living in Australia was different from what she initially expected. “The hardest part was realising that it was permanent. Everything felt foreign to me, and I realised this wasn’t just a holiday after which I would return home. This was about to become my new life. I lost my sense of safety without my family close to me,” she said.
She appreciated the opportunities the new country had to offer, but the feeling of not belonging was very hard to deal with.
“I could enjoy certain moments and appreciate the beauty of the country and the opportunities opening for me. But the feeling of being a stranger there was much stronger, and it made me feel even more homesick,” she said.
Image by Stephanie Avdeienko
Their parents had made one condition: if the sisters were leaving together, they would either stay together in Australia and study or return to Ukraine together. After just less than a year, the homesickness felt like too much, and they decided to return to Ukraine.
My mother now often talks about how she regrets not completing her study in Australia. Looking back, she can see the opportunities she left behind. Although, at the time, the distance from home, family and friends felt a lot stronger than the desire to remain in a foreign country, away from everything she had known.
It raises a question: how much are we actually willing to give up for the people and places we miss?
Homesickness goes beyond simply missing familiar surroundings. It influences how people adjust to new environments, their mental health, and even quality of life.
A 2015 systematic review by psychologists Margaret Stroebe Henk Schut and Maaike Nauta examined 55 scientific studies on homesickness. Their research showcased its impact on difficulties adjusting to a new environment and consequences for psychological and physical well-being.
Another study, that was published in the journal Emotion in 2017 by Tammy English and her colleagues, spoke to university students throughout their first semester. The researchers found that 94% of students who took part in the study experienced at least some homesickness during this period. Although homesickness decreased slightly, students experiencing stronger homesickness also reported difficulties adjusting to social life at university.
These findings showcase that homesickness is not just nostalgia. Polina Barabolia, 20, went through a similar experience during her first trip to London for summer camp without her family. “It was really difficult, and feelings of loneliness overwhelmed me almost every day. Sometimes, it was hard for me to hold back tears, even in crowded places,” she remembers.
For a lot of people, separation from familiar surroundings and their families can become a significant part of the experience of building a new life away from home.
Image by Stephanie Avdeienko
The people waiting at arrivals
There is a second side to every departure that often stays unnoticed. The people who stay behind.
When somebody moves abroad, their family doesn’t disappear. Parents go on with their lives, siblings grow up, friendships evolve and everyday moments happen without the person who moved abroad.
A phone call or a message can perhaps make the distance feel less critical, but it can’t replace being present physically in the moment.
And maybe this is why airport reunions feel so emotional. But reunions are usually followed by another goodbye.
For those who live away from home, visiting home can bring a lot of mixed emotions. The happiness of returning comes with the knowledge that another goodbye is approaching.
Although not every goodbye is connected to family or your home country. Polina remembers a trip to Cyprus, where she got very close with people she was staying with. “We had fun every single moment, and the only time I felt like crying during that trip was on the day we had to leave,” she says.
What makes the moments at the opening sequence of Love Actually so emotional is that they represent something universal, the desire to be close to the people who matter to us.
But not every goodbye feels the same or carries the same meaning. Some people say goodbye with tears in their eyes, others leave with excitement looking forward to their new lives. Some come back. Others find a new home. And some spend years moving between places, never quite belonging to just one.
There is no single definition of home. Sometimes, it’s a feeling. Sometimes, it’s memories. And sometimes, it is the people we wish would wait for us when we arrive.
As Love Actually reminds us, love really is all around us.
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