By Agnese Ratniece
The beginnings of romantic relationships are always full of appreciation and joy, with the expectation that they will last forever. However, for whatever reason, things may move in a different direction, and the relationship can be cut short. It can end as a lesson learnt with lots of happy memories, but it can also end on negative terms with emotional damage.
Recent studies by PLOS ONE, have shown that negative social interactions, especially with a romantic partner, increase the risk of anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts, while positive interactions reduce those risks.
What is a toxic relationship?
“The simplest way to describe a toxic relationship is when your partner makes you feel worse rather than better,” said Stefan Riss, 32, a counsellor at Bark. “Sometimes things you consider toxic, might not be toxic for another person.”
A toxic relationship is when you don’t feel support from your partner and you are misunderstood, attacked, either emotionally, psychologically or physically and demeaned, according to VeryWell Mind.
“Only you can tell if the bad outweighs the good in a relationship. But if someone consistently threatens your well-being by what they’re saying, doing, or not doing, it’s likely a toxic relationship,” it says.
Signs that your relationship is toxic include: always feeling like you’re to blame, feeling consistently bad about your self-esteem, having to walk on eggshells around your partner, constantly feeling the need to cheer them up, and feeling “consistently disrespected or that your needs aren’t being met”, according to VeryWellMind.
How do you leave a toxic relationship?
Krystian Baranek, 28, content creator from Leeds, spent more than a year trying to get out of his toxic relationship. “A person in a toxic relationship in which they feel like they’re in a closed cage, they are not happy, cannot grow and, it overwhelms them,” said Baranek. “I recommend ending it as soon as possible because only then you start to live again, and a smile will appear on your face again.
“People tend to stay in toxic relationships for a long period, waiting until the relationship is completely damaged. If anyone finds themselves in an unhealthy relationship, they should look for the help that they need,” Riss added.
“Depending on the level of seriousness, you should look for support from your family, friends or a professional.”
Amie Hale, 22, is a beautician who recently got out from a long-term unhealthy relationship. “If there are more ‘bad times’ than ‘good times’ then it’s time to think about leaving,” she said. “I look back and regret not leaving sooner. Maybe if I left sooner then things wouldn’t have turned toxic.”
Moving on
“First I felt devastated, thought that it’s my fault and was wondering what I have I done to deserve this,” said Krista Vaisla, 26, office administrator, about ending her abusive relationship, “But with time passing, I felt relieved and my eyes were fully open and I could see the true colours of that relationship.”
Riss recommends cutting off all communication with the toxic person after a breakup, as keeping in contact will slow down the healing process.
“It’s okay to feel lost after ending a relationship,” said Riss.
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