By Megan Morgan
“Sex workers should be on the NHS for disabled people like me,” says Rhys Bowler, a 34-year-old man living with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy in Treforest, South Wales. Bowler, who is physically disabled, hopes to encourage people to talk more openly about sex and disability.
Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy is a progressive form of muscular dystrophy which can be characterised by progressive muscular weakness and eventually breathing problems. The disorder typically affects males.
Despite this, Bowler told S4C: “Disabled people have sexual urges. We are still human, we want sex,” before going on to add “Every experience I’ve wanted to try, I’ve done it. I can honestly say – I work like any man out there. And I haven’t had any complaints!”
Just like everybody else
“Did you know – disabled people have sex and they like it? Yep. Shocking though it may seem, disabled people are just like, well, everyone, really,” says Enhance the UK, a charity wanting to change society’s views on disability. It offers training and services to help those living with a disability to live a sexually dignified and fulfilling life.
“Sex is important. We all want to be loved, we all crave a bit of intimacy from time to time and like it or not, we are sexual beings. Take sex out of the equation and we will quickly start to feel insecure and unattractive,” it says.
“How we judge ourselves is inextricably linked to how we think others perceive us. This is a problem because (and this isn’t much of a secret) disability isn’t seen as sexy.” The charity offers “disability and sexual expression” training “delivered by disabled trainers who have experience of supporting disabled people with their sexual expression”. Cost for the virtual three and a half hour session is £850.
In the past, Bowler admits to utilising the services of sex workers as he felt it was the only way he could have sex. He now believes that sex workers should be made available for disabled people through the NHS.
Taking public money
‘Cherry Stone’, a 24-year-old Brazilian sex worker based in London, claims that she wouldn’t want to be paid by the NHS for her services as she would “feel bad for taking the public money, [for it] to be spent so frugal” before disclosing that prices sometimes reach the four-figure mark for an hour’s session.
“[The NHS] seems to be barely getting by, the whole system is on the verge of collapse. I just can’t justify the money being spent on sex even though I think sex is great for mental health and the body,” she adds.
This view is shared by Laura Morgan, a pharmacy assistant from Ogmore Vale, Bridgend: “I think the NHS is already under immense pressure. If sex workers were to be available on the NHS, who would decide the disabilities that qualify for a sex worker to be paid for by the NHS?” she said.
“How would we draw the line? I don’t think this is a service that should be paid for by the NHS at the present time.”
On the contrary, Mike Chopra-Grant, a lecturer at London Metropolitan University, thinks “sex workers on the NHS are a good idea but it would require a whole-scale societal rethinking of our human relationship with sex”.
Breaking the law?
Last year, a judge ruled that a disabled man who visited sex workers under a care plan would not be breaking the law.
The judge said that main purpose of the Sexual Offences Act 2003 was to protect “those who are sexually vulnerable in relationships which may easily become exploitative and in which inequality may corrode meaningful consent”. He said it was not designed to prevent those with disabilities from having a sex life.
A mum of three was later quoted in MyLondon as saying that she has sex with, or performs sex acts on, disabled people. “It’s like being a regular sex worker,” Beverlee Lewis said. “Although, I don’t let my clients objectify me or use me for their entertainment, or for their instant gratification; It’s about sexual health and wellness recovery.”
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