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By Melina Gjoka
Beauty standards refer to the social pressures which usually are based on the creation of a sometimes unrealistic beauty stereotype. These standards, heavily promoted by social media and the fashion industry, create a perception of what it means to be beautiful. This often leads to a decrease in self-confidence and the inability to love yourself exactly as you are.
The types of beauty that we can see on social media and in movies create the idea of the only acceptable form of beauty. These standards are generally flawless in appearance and without natural imperfections.
The constant comparison of ourselves to these standards can lead to anxiety, low self-esteem, and even eating disorders or body image disorders such as dysmorphia. Instead of accepting our personal appearance, many people focus only on their “flaws”.
However, today there is a processing movement for the acceptance of all types of beauty, regardless of size, colour, age, or gender. This trend is supported by experts and by celebrities who openly talk about their imperfections and the importance of authenticity.
According to the book The Art of Happiness (Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler, M.D.), the religious leader Dalai Lama points out that “being honest with yourself and others about what you are or you are not capable for something, it can decrease the feeling of lack of self-confidence”.
Image by Melina Gjoka
Actually, honesty and acceptance of ourselves boost self-confidence and self-esteem. Many people tend to be influenced by negative thoughts as they do not believe they will reach the point of loving themselves or consider it impossible to become like the standards they see. However, lowering ourselves is not the solution to the problem.
It all starts with accepting ourselves exactly as we are, in order to help us. It is a process that requires patience, but it is worth it because we are doing it for ourselves.
Instagram users answered the following questions: “What do you think about today’s beauty standards?” and “What helps you accept yourself as you are?”
Image by Melina Gjoka
In the first question, 53% of participants answered “I don’t feel affected by them”, while in the second question, 44% answered “My personal growth”. This is a good thing as we can see people can handle the beauty standards successfully and they focus on themselves.
Some students from London Metropolitan University answered these questions, as well.
Khushi Nagar, 22, who studies Marketing, answered the question “What do you think about beauty standards’ today?”.
She said, “My opinion about beauty standards is neutral. Actually, it’s based on the trends. They inspire me if I gain something from it and if it’s appropriate.”
Simranieet Kau, 22, who also studies Marketing, answered the question: “What helps you accept yourself as you are?”.
She said, “I keep reminding that I accept myself as I am and I feel independent.” She added “In India, I feel more supportive because I have my family and friends there but here I’m alone, so I try to encourage myself more.”
Let’s take a closer look at some ways that can help us with self-acceptance:
- Self-esteem and self-respect: The first step is to recognize our value beyond our appearance and focus in our personality, achievements and abilities.
- Self-improvement: Lifestyle plays an important role on how we feel about ourselves. Set new goals, do a hobby, eat healthy, do meditation, read a self-improvement book.
- Education and recognition of stereotypes: When we recognize stereotypes, we can consciously reject them and acknowledge the variety and beauty that comes from diversity.
- Advice from a psychologist : When we feel unable of dealing with our problems, we can speak to a psychologist for guidance.
- Surrounding ourselves with supportive people: It is very important to have people in our lives that encourage us and accepting us as we are. Also, the conversations with them can be very useful in order to feel that we are understandable to others and it is normal to feel sometimes “lost”. Not all the days are perfect. But spending time and speaking with a friend, family member, or a partner can make us feel better.
- The power of social media: Although social media often reinforce stereotypes, they also have the power to change them. Users who promote “body positivity” and authenticity contribute to create a world where beauty is not measured only by the appearance. This issue is important because it tends a healthier and more positive perception of beauty and helps us to encourage ourselves.
We must not forget that the power we have is our uniqueness. It is what sets us apart because only one person can control ourselves: us.
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